1
Welcome and scripture
The service begins by setting marriage within God’s loving purpose. Bible readings, hymns and prayers help tell the Christian story of faithful love.
A holy beginning
Marriage
Congratulations on your engagement. We would be delighted to help you explore a church wedding and to walk with you as you prepare for married life.
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” — Mark 10.9
Welcome
More than a beautiful day
Christian marriage is a sacred covenant: a lifelong vocation of faithful, generous and fruitful love, lived before God and supported by the prayer of the Church.
A church wedding gives you the opportunity to make your vows in a place of prayer, surrounded by family and friends, and to ask God’s blessing upon the life you are beginning together.
You do not need to have everything planned before you contact us. Your first enquiry is simply the beginning of a conversation. We will help you understand the legal requirements, consider possible dates and prepare a service that is prayerful, joyful and personal.
Please enquire before confirming a reception
venue or other arrangements. A proposed date is
not booked until the Parish Office has confirmed it.
The marriage service
Promises made before God
At the heart of the service are the vows: public promises of lifelong faithfulness, made freely and solemnly before God. The giving of rings expresses those promises in a visible sign, and the Church prays for grace, strength and joy in the years ahead.
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Declarations and vows
You declare your intention to marry and then make the promises by which you give yourselves to one another for the whole of your lives.
3
Rings and blessing
Rings are exchanged as signs of the covenant. The priest blesses your marriage, and the whole congregation prays for your life together.
Your connection
Can we marry in one of our churches?
You may normally marry at St Mary the Virgin, Stanwell, or St Matthew’s, Ashford, when one or both of you has a legally recognised connection with the parish. This may include one of the following:
- One or both of you currently lives in the parish.
- One or both of you is entered on the church electoral roll or regularly worships here.
- One of you was baptised or confirmed in the parish.
- One of you previously lived in the parish for at least six months.
- A parent lived in the parish for at least six months during your lifetime.
- A parent or grandparent was married in one of the parish churches.
Not sure whether you qualify? Please enquire. Every situation is considered individually, and we will explain which legal preliminaries and documents apply.
Previous marriages: where either person has been married before, please raise this privately at the beginning of the enquiry and before making firm plans. The Parish Priest will respond with pastoral sensitivity and explain whether and how it may be possible to proceed.
From enquiry to wedding day
Your wedding journey
We will guide you through each stage. There is no need to master the legal or liturgical details before you contact us.
1
Make an enquiry
Send the form below with your preferred church and possible date. The Parish Office will acknowledge your enquiry and arrange the next step.
2
Office appointment
You will meet with the Parish Office to check the legal preliminaries, complete the initial forms and make sure the required information and documents are in order.
3
Meet the priest
The priest will talk with you about Christian marriage, your hopes for married life, your connection with the parish and any pastoral matters that need discussion.
4
Confirm the date
Once the legal, pastoral and practical arrangements have been checked, the Parish Office will confirm whether the proposed date can be booked.
5
Prepare for marriage
Preparation explores Christian marriage, communication, shared life and the grace needed to sustain a lifelong covenant.
6
Plan the service
Together we will consider readings, hymns, music, prayers, flowers, photography and the roles of family and friends.
7
Banns and documents
We will confirm where banns must be read and check that the identity, nationality, address and connection documents required for the marriage are complete.
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Rehearsal and wedding
A rehearsal allows everyone involved to become familiar with the service. Then comes the joyful celebration of your marriage.
Watch
A church wedding
The Christian service gives proper weight to the vows you make, while allowing many personal choices in readings, music, prayers and the participation of those close to you.
Legal preliminaries
Banns of marriage
Most Church of England weddings require banns to be published before the marriage. Banns are a public announcement of your intention to marry and an invitation to the congregation to pray for you.
They are normally read on three Sundays during the three months before the wedding. They usually need to be read in the parish where each of you lives and also in the church where the marriage will take place, when that is a different parish.
Some circumstances require a different legal preliminary, such as a licence or a Marriage Schedule issued through the register office. The priest will advise you; please do not try to determine the procedure on your own.
When you are marrying elsewhere but one or both of you lives in this parish, select Banns only in the enquiry form below.
Planning resource
Download the 2026 Wedding Guide
The parish Wedding Guide brings the main information together in one place while our new online wedding handbook is being prepared. It will help you understand the process and begin thinking about your service.
Open the 2026 Wedding Guide (PDF)
Fees and practical arrangements can change. The Parish Office will confirm the current figures and requirements for your proposed wedding.
Common questions
Frequently asked questions
These answers are a starting point. The priest will advise you about your particular circumstances.
Do we have to be baptised or regular churchgoers?
Baptism and regular attendance are not generally requirements in themselves. You do, however, need a legally recognised connection with the church, and the wedding will be a Christian service with Christian vows, prayers and scripture.
What if one of us has been married before?
Please tell us at the outset and before confirming other arrangements. The parish’s teaching on the lifelong character of marriage means that this must be considered carefully. The Parish Priest will speak with you privately and pastorally about your circumstances.
Can we marry here if we live outside the parish?
Possibly. You may have another qualifying connection, such as baptism, confirmation, previous residence, a parent’s residence or a family marriage in the church. Complete the enquiry form and explain the connection.
Can children take part in the service?
Yes. Children are welcome, and there are several suitable ways for them to be involved according to their age and confidence. We can discuss this while planning the service.
Can another priest or minister take part?
A Church of England priest known to you may often be involved by prior agreement with the Parish Priest. Clergy or ministers from other churches may also be able to take a suitable part, although the legal marriage must be conducted by an authorised Church of England minister.
Can we choose our music, readings and hymns?
There is considerable choice within the authorised marriage service. At least one Bible reading will be included, and the priest and musicians will help you select appropriate readings, hymns and other music.
What will the wedding cost?
Church wedding fees include statutory fees and may also include local charges for services such as an organist, verger, bells, heating or additional facilities. Please consult the current Wedding Guide; the Parish Office will provide a confirmed quotation.
We are marrying somewhere else and only need banns. What should we do?
Select Banns only in the form below. Give the name and location of the wedding church and the wedding date. We will then tell you what documents and arrangements are needed.
Begin the conversation
Wedding or banns enquiry
Complete the form with the information you currently have. Submitting an enquiry does not reserve a wedding date; the Parish Office will contact you to discuss the next step.
We look forward to hearing from you
For a general query, you may also write to office@smam.org.uk.
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